Interfaith Weddings: Dealing With the Family

Getting married should be easy. Planning a wedding should be simple. Dealing with your family should be painless. However, the truth is that sometimes these things are difficult - making a wedding can be stressful. If you are having an interfaith wedding, the stress level will probably be even higher. Interfaith weddings are when two people of different religions choose to get married. This can cause a lot of strife and anxiety for both you, your partner and your families. Some families are able to accept the fact that their child is marrying someone of a different faith and will not make a fuss about it. Other families (especially families that are active participants in their religion) will refuse to calmly accept the news. Their reactions can range from rudeness to complete rejection. The truth is, at the end of the day you cannot force your family to accept your views. Hopefully, you will be able to reach some sort of compromise with your family that will allow you to maintain a relationship with them.

If your family refuses to accept your marriage, there are several things you can try to do. The first thing you should do is have a conversation with your parents and ask them exactly what their objections are. For example, a Christian woman decided to marry a Muslim man. Both families were incensed. When the woman spoke to her Christian family, she found out that they had no actual objection to Muslims, but were concerned about her welfare. They had heard many negative stereotypes about Muslim men and feared that he would mistreat her. The woman asked her family to withhold their judgment and meet her fiancee. Once her family got to know her fiancee, they calmed down and eventually gave them their blessing.

You can also ask a member of the clergy who is sympathetic to interfaith marriage to talk to your family. A Jewish man got engaged to his non-Jewish girlfriend. When he told his parents, they cried and asked what they had done to deserve a son who would marry a shiksa. Deeply upset, the man confided in his rabbi, who, as a member of Reform Judaism, was open to interfaith marriage. His rabbi spoke to the parents, managed to calm them down and arranged for the son, fiancee and parents to talk about the marriage. The parents were never thrilled about the marriage, but thanks to the rabbi's counsel, at least they attended the wedding without causing a scene.